As always I’m behind in putting this stuff on my blog as I tend to keep my reactions to tutor reports in OneNote. Key modifications as follows:
- A suggestion that the tone is a bit arrogant – I should be kinder to my viewers. On reflection I guess this is true. In reality I tend to photograph for myself, so writing a sort of artist’s statement was not intuitive. There was also a suggestion that I should provide more hint of a location – but I can find no obvious photographic way to achieve that. To address the points I’ve recast the statement a little and made the title of the work more explicit.
- Provide contact sheets – an easy fix which I made at the time of the feedback.
- Comments on the images as follows: – the fossil bolts should be up front (agreed). Focus on the street name in the new Look image (disagree – New Look is intended to convey a sense of the change which has occurred.) An implicit thought that I should try to emphasise the community angle covered by the bronze relief and the stained glass. Tie the final image into the location more effectively. I’e tried to address these points largely by changing the running order of the images. In particular I now open with the “fossils” which I “explain” with the poster – then I bring in the people and the community – which i break with the barbed wire, and then it’s into a sequence of images about change, ending with a moonset over the remains of the steelworks.
I think this addresses my tutors points without changes to the images themselves and increase the sense of a narrative.